:D

to dance or not?

2011-09-23T11:26:00.000-07:00

Geez!it has been a really long time since i last blogged!

some really old photos from DC production :

don q - solo

canon

opening

canon

finale.

having holidays now. so practically, it is just sleep late, wake up late and shopping and stuff. pretty disappointed with myself. and yes, my aim for this week is to finish one school's application essay. not really an essay. but a short write up in less than 350 words on why i chose that school and how will that school help in my future career.

seriously, i don't know which schools is it that i really want to go. perhaps B. but well, it's hard to get in. but, i never know. may be they will see something in me.

sometimes, it is really scary when i am thinking about my future. and i do know that i do really love dancing. i fought and gave up so many things just to dance. and dance is really something that i would give up everything for, on dance days, i will wake up as early as 7am just to get ready for class, on normal school days, i will drag myself myself to wake up even when it's 9!

and yes i do love dancing, i do love performing. but back to reality. how far can i go as a dancer or as a teacher or whatsoever. how many competitions will i be facing in the near future. talking about body physicality. Definitely, i do not have the correct dancer's body. so what if i am willing to work hard doubly hard then others to achieve what they are born to have? so much can i go? so what if performing is my strongest forte? how many dancers are there are better than me?

for every one lead there are a thousand of background dancers.

it is true, when you were young, you doesn't consider that much and you just go do what you want or like. but as you age, and see more things , you start to think more and consider more. ok. Natalie, you really have to be strong. once you go for it, and there is no way back .

and yes, even the road is tough, i am going to fight all the way. cos dance is more than a passion for me. it is something that i know that i will definitely enjoy it more than a high office pay job. it is something that i am willing give up for and will always be happy every moment on stage despite being a background dancer. :)

well, wish me luck in all my other applications. *finger cross*

2011-03-14T02:29:00.000-07:00

Day 3: A picture of the cast from your favourite show

ok. when it comes to show, it doesn't necessary meant TV show. well, i prefer watching live concerts,live musical. i think it's so damn cool. the settings and everything is a total thing.

to many who doesn't know, apart from ballet, i have a hidden secret. I love Broadway jazz like crazy. i think it's so damn pretty and requires a lot of character! fell in love with hairspray the very moment i watched it. it was so damn cool!

you guys should really go watch it! i will sure watch it if they come to Singapore! WOOT!

oh geez! i wanna watch lion king musical! ugh!

2011-03-11T00:32:00.000-08:00

Day2 : A picture of you and the person who u have been closest with the longest

ok. i took me quite a long time to choose this picture. well, someone i have known for a long time is perhaps my cousin? HAHa! from being enemies to good friends.

well, no matter what, we will always be there for one another.

ps: 30 days challenge will ONLY be done on weekDAYS! so next post will be monday. :)

2011-03-09T20:28:00.000-08:00

i am currently at attachment. :)

geez,as a fresh intern, i doesn't have much things to do. oh well.

life is so contradicting.

when i was threw with tons and tons of projects and things to study, i complain for being busy. and when it comes to holiday, i rant that i am wasting time sitting at home and rotting plus there's no income. when it comes to attachment where my workload is not that much, i complain that why is it so little and ain't we suppose to be busy?

haha.

i guess, it is human nature to always rant and complain how our life sucks. but well, it is the perception on how you see things.

ok. since, i have nothing much to do. i am attempting to make my blog a little more interesting. :)

i will be doing a 30 days challenge. :)

the list of things that i will be doing the next thirty days :

1. A picture of yourself with 10 facts.
2. A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
3. A picture of the cast from your favorite show.
4. A picture of your favorite night.
5. A picture of your favorite memory.
6. A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.
7. A picture of your most treasured item.
8. A picture that makes you laugh,
9. A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.
!0. A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with.
11. A picture of something you hate.
12. A picture of something you love.
13. A picture of your favorite band or artist.
14. A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.
15. A picture of someone who inspires you.
16. A picture of something you want to do before you die.
17. A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
18. A picture of your biggest insecurity.
19. A picture and a letter
20. A picture of something you'd love to travel.
21. A picture of something you wish you could forget.
22. A picture of something you wish you were better at.
23. A picture of your favorite book.
24. A picture of something you wish you could change.
25. A picture of your favourite day.
26. A picture of something that means a lot to you.
27. A picture of yourself and a family member.
28. A picture of something you're afraid of.
29. A picture that can always make you smile.
30. A picture of someone you miss.

DAY 1 : A picture of yourself with 10 facts.

i love to dance more than anything else.
i started dancing not because i was amaze with the dancer's grace .
i was more like a tom boy when i was a little girl.
my dream job when i was young was to be a lawyer. never had i thought of doing Any dance related job.
i am now an internship student at a law firm. :O
i have no favourite food in particular. any thing that is not fattening are my favourites. :)
i dream to be a don Q and i WAS a don Q.
i want to get into J. badly.
i did not regret quitting A levels AT ALL neither did i regret choosing the A level path initially.
i want to dancer more than being a tai tai. :)

2011-03-06T07:49:00.000-08:00

production in 17 days and i am so damn screwed!
kid's exam in 2 months time!
attachment starts tomorrow at 9am at raffles place
3/4 of march filled up with either teaching or rehearsals.
i have not started with my dance application yet! and i have no idea when i will do when i am not doing now.
on the bright side, i found pianist for my girls in their normal practice.
i should stop procrastinating and go to sleep .

don't ask me why it is in point form. i am too tired to write in paragraphs. :)

2011-02-20T05:59:00.001-08:00

i know i look damn ugh! but! haha! i like my pointe though. hate my flat foot, but well!

photo shoot for nafa 2010 concert

i hate it.

why am i not born with that flexibility like some of my friends?

why am i not born with a better feet ?

why am i born flat footed?!

why why why?!

ugh!

but, it is all these that give me the extra strength to push myself more than what i think i could. they made me a stronger person. both mentally and physically. i remember this phrase i heard while watching a dance drama series. "when you are at the bottom, you have no where to go, but up" it is indeed true!

i have a goal. by the end of the next two months, i will have my developpes a la seconde to increase by at least 15 degree and with turn out! and i want or to do a double CLEAN piroutte when i will end properly!

on a side note, i will be applying for my overseas dance this year! gosh! if everything goes well, i will be leaving next year! i can't wait to go actually, feeling pretty excited for it actually. :)

2011-01-21T08:44:00.000-08:00

i think what xia lao shi said the week before was quite true. there are really a lot of competition in the dance scene. there are people who have been dancing for years. but they only get to be a background dancer (look at the video above at the person clapping) not because they are not good, but they are not good enough to be dancing. there is only 1 lead in every 1 dance and there can be a few hundreds cast. but only the best get to do the lead.

this sound cruel, but the truth is always cruel. well, but for the sake of something that you love or something that you are passionate, no matter how small the role is or how little your pay is, you will still go for it. this is perhaps what we call an artist.

2010-11-28T07:14:00.000-08:00

it's been a week since nafa concert.
i miss rushing to rehearsals from school
i miss going for rehearsals
i miss the jokes we laugh during rehearsal
i miss the stage
i miss the dressing room
and most importantly, i miss the people who are in this production.

it's kinda sad that it's my (most likely) my last performance for nafa before i leave. and it was definitely the most enjoyable nafa performance i ever had.

a week before the performance, i was helping out at the NAFA SYT dance intake audition. my job was to call students in and to demo steps for them to do. i would admit that the requirements are a lot higher now as compared to the days i came in.

it was pretty sad to see that some of them are rejected cos they ain't up to the standard here. but yes, i was as lousy or lousier when i first came in. i think cai lao shi was really nice in taking in me then. i remembered once when she told us about the past auditions. the reason into why she took me not because i had the correct dancer body type or because i had tons of ballet cert (which is quite lousy). but cos of my passion.

well.. back to the topic.

NAFA 2010 concert was definitely awesome ,this would be my last time doing a classical ballet role, i think. it had always been a dream to do don q. i remember many years ago when i first saw don q and i fell in love immediately. i would watch different people doing the same variation over and over again. and i was of cos happy that i could do it. it felt like a fairy tale dream come true.

somewhat i hope that i will still be around in 2012. but oh well..

we saw this actress outside our dressing room and decided to take a group photo with her. she's damn nice. :)

the same dressing room that i have been using for 3 productions!

during the break of our first show and second show, we decided to change tutu.

phoebe (730pm) and i (430pm)

solso

before the show.

with blue bird.

Carmen piece - ballet performance

was almost a perfect picture,IF ONLY i pointe my legs! ugh!

Don Q variation - ballet solo

Coda - Chinese dance and ballet combine

other performance

friends who came to watch.

my pillar of supports. <3

my dad was damn sweet too. he told me the day after my performance that he was very proud of me when he saw my don q and the other performances. :) and he never really complain when he had to drive me from teaching to nafa every sat. <3
and my mum was very nice too. one week before the performance, she stayed with me at nafa till late night till my rehearsal end. and then she was already damn hungry, but she didn't complain at all.

hardcore fan who gave me a chop. HAHA!

2010-11-20T08:56:00.001-08:00

my last performance @ nafa was a blast.

shall talk more about it at a later post (i promise!!!)

i cannot forget what lao shi told me before the last finale today.

"this might be your last performance for NAfA but this will be your new beginning for your professional dancing in coming years...."

2010-11-19T18:40:00.000-08:00

I am feeling real excited now. performance starting in a few hours time. let's look back how i started...

2006 Nafa concert - was only good enough to do the coda (a modern dance piece)

2008 - SYT 10th anniversary. then was only good enough to do one piece. and then i was standing right at the back and was a background dance.

since the year i came into NAFA i had an aim. i aimed to one day to be able to do a solo piece or be one of the lead in one of NAFA production. But i somehow thought that it was impossible . cos everyone there are so outstanding. everyone are technically strong. and i know i am never their competition.

today is gonna be my LAST performance with NAFA before i leave. will be doing 3 performance today. don q solo (afternoon show), carmen and coda. am really excited .

ok. i got to go and prepare for the performance later.

ciao

2010-11-17T08:46:00.000-08:00

today is day one of rehearsal. really shagged and tired. dancing a 6 min dance piece is pretty tiring cos there are lots of jumps in it.and it also includes from running from one end of the stage and the dance mat at the theater is pretty slippery. gonna use either water or rosin tomorrow.

tomorrow will be solo rehearsal. gosh. solo is much more tiring than the carmen piece. ugh.

really hope that the show come real quick. am really excited for it. on the other hand,i am really tired with all these things,really hope that it end quickly. but ironically, i hope that it never come to an end. well,let us just enjoy the process of all the rehearsal then. it's gonna be my last show! :(

2010-11-07T09:03:00.000-08:00

YES! i know it's been a long long long time since i updated. look at the pictures on what's happening on my holidays!

Class Chalet (5th October 2010)

those who were present. :)

our kinder joy. everyone has a child in them. :)

Youthphoria @ SDC (30th October 2010)

wind beneath my wings :)

Happiness dance :O

Chomp Chomp (5th Nov 2010)

oyster omelette. everyone's favourite!

Sugar cane drink! damn nice! :

mouth-watering satay and BBQ chicken! (Y)

frolick yougurt for desert ^^

Other random meet-ups (which i forgotten the actual date)

met up with cousin! I was the one who initiated shopping. and i ended purchasing one belt and she bought all the shoes and bags. haha! had a blast with her!

met up with lihui first before meeting lydia(tau huay sao) and Gee. took this at marina Square. watched some movie before meeting them. cos we met too early. sorry my memory is failing . can't remember what show we watched.

with lyn,gee and lihui @Ion

With Lihui and Lyn @ Amk Hub for dinner. Had western at the S11 where we used to go after FMO planning. they made me finish the whole big plate of chicken chop. they are the reason into why i became so FAT!

Met up with TAY for our free manicure! she painted her nails orange while i got mine blue. chosen blue cos i was indecisive of what to have my nails painted. so i asked him* what's his favourite colour and painted it blue!

went down to visit Yi-shih @ bugis junction. had lunch cum dinner with her . she was @ bugis selling mooncake. bought the big box cos she claimed that she will only be earning commission if anyone buy the big box. well..

the holiday had been really fun and nice with all my loves one. time really passes! back to school again.

i am pretty excited for NAFA's concert which is on the 20th Nov! it will be my FIRST (and probably last) time doing a solo classical ballet piece. Never in my life have i ever did a classical ballet solo. it is either i didn't have the opportunity or i wasn't the best to be chosen.

on a side note, i really really need to slim down for the show. Tried my tutu yesterday. i was experiencing some difficulties pulling up. HAHA! when the person took my measurement the other time, i was at my skinniest!

haiz. why are fats so hard to lose? ! money is easy to "lose" but not FATS! geez! if only money = fats!

ok. i am pretty tired now. i sense that i was writing nonsense and am going to. and also pardon all my grammatical error. am really tired.

before i go, watch the video below. will be doing this variation. and yes! we share the same name. i do not have the same name because of her btw. anw, she's really awesomoe. she have got some aura. where by though her video quality ain't as good as the rest of the dancers who are doing this variation, but she made it really good. it make me want to watch over and over again.

2010-09-16T08:14:00.000-07:00

"for someone we love, we are willing to give up everything

for someone we love, we are willing to go against our principle

for someone we love, we are willing to scarifies our time for them

for someone we love, we are willing to accept every flaws of him/her

for someone we love, we are willing to....

...

...."

power of love - is it something scary or great?

2010-09-15T07:28:00.000-07:00

we often hear this song being played whenever a train is approaching.
we laugh and find it annoying and stupid.
little did we realize we are the cause for it to be played.

if only each and everyone of us know how to queue up and give way to alighting passenger, if only each and everyone know how to keep to the left when we are on a escalator (unless we are rushing for time) and if only each and everyone of us know how to walk in to the rear of the train or bus, these reminders then doesn't need to be played.

other similar advertisements / podcast :

my favourite :)

2010-09-13T09:32:00.000-07:00

it would be a lie if i say i am not . . .

for all i know i have always wanted it more than anything else.

2010-09-05T20:56:00.000-07:00

Happy 18th Birthday Lynette Chen!

P.S: you're finally legal to.... ^^

2010-09-05T07:48:00.000-07:00

you never know how tough it is until you really try it or been through it. it is indeed true!

it's my second year teaching .i remember how i started teaching all these little kids. i have never thought of being a ballet teacher. (cos all i wanted to do is to dance and perform) one day, one of my ballet teacher called and asked me if i could take over 3 classes from this teacher as the girls are preparing for their exams and coincidental, i am one of them who was trained the syllabus the girls are going exam for. this is how i started with my little girls.

people have always tell me teaching little kids is easy. there's nothing to worry about. but i would pardon that.

teaching little kids is really a big challenge. they might be little and do not remember terms or if you were to tell them about how to engage their muscles to do a particular steps they wouldn't understand any bit of it. BUT, they have a powerful muscles memory. muscles memory are better than any brain. they can remember things faster. if one were to do this particular step this way since young (and especially if it's wrong) it will eventually follow them till the day someone were to spot their mistakes. by then, it would be quite late. Bad habits are the toughest things to change!

last year , i was given a choice for my teaching. perhaps many of you wouldn't know why i made an unusual choice in the end. (and since the incident has been over for for quite some time)i was given the choice to either stay with my kids or to go to a better place. i decided to stay with my kids. cos all i wanted to teach . it doesn't matter to me which ever studio i were to go to, but i feel that since i started agreeing in teaching this group of kids, i must be a responsible teacher to teach them till the very end unless one day i have to leave cos of some really good reason.

and i know i do not want whatever that have happened to me to be happening to these little kids. i used to have a very good teacher when i was in grade 1 and grade 2. she is really strict but she's really good! i even scored near to a full marks for my grade 1 exam. but when i was in grade 2, she had to leave for some reason (which i don't know what). since then, i had other teachers and i have like different teachers every year or so. All these teachers ain't strict at all. i became really reckless and lousy.

then, i thought, things might be different if i would have gone to a place with a much more stable and stricter teacher. and now as i dance, there are A LOT of bad habits that i am having now. and i find it really hard to correct them . and i doesn't want any of my kid to end up like me.

some people do think that teaching little kids is a cool thing. but it is not. i used to think that teachers who said that they learnt a lot from teaching are bullshit. cos i am like you are teaching and what would u be able to learn from? but i was wrong. i do learn a lot from teaching my little kids. i became more aware of every movement i do. like just a simple balance on their tip toes. i always ask them to suck in their stomach and think tall and hold there. and i somehow am extra careful whenever i need to take my balance and it works. i too get to see many different body structure and able to learn to work on them. like i have a kid who have got hyper-extended arm (like me) , i will tell her that she cannot straighten her hand all the way so as to achieve the same shape as the rest of the girls. i too became more cautious whenever i move my hands.

being a teacher also means that you have greater responsibility. whenever you are having your own normal class or rehearsal, you can afford to slack a little. or give yourself some excuse like oh i am tired now. but, teaching is different. be it tired a not, you still have to give your very best. parents are watching and the kid's (perhaps) dream of being a ballerina is in your hand.

so well..

2010-08-31T08:46:00.000-07:00

Dedicating to :

the teacher who never fail to give up on me no matter how lousy i am,

the teacher who groom me to who i am today

the teacher who gave me the countless of opportunity to showcase my talent

the teacher who supports me in whatever i am doing

the teacher who teaches me more than being a dancer but a performer

the teacher who have changed me

the teacher who left great impact on me!

Happy teachers' day 蔡老师！

蔡老师,教师节快乐！

2010-08-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

tomorrow is the day! or perhaps, in a few hours time! i know it's 2 plus now and i ought to be sleeping getting enough rest and getting ready for tomorrow. but well, it's hard. cos i just tasted failure last year. and i know this time is my very last chance to excel. a last chance to prove that i am capable of it! and this would also determine where i will be enrolling after poly.

last year at this point of time i was pretty much nervous too. and i thought to myself that the decision made last year was pretty much wrong . i felt that i wasn't very much prepared and i had other commitments which i had to attend to as well.

this year is really different. i had more time to prepare for it, i too(perhaps) have a better person to guide me through. she's really awesome ( though i still miss cai lao shi A LOT). well, no matter what, you can do it NATALIE!

i really like what xia lao shi told us, "trust no one but yourself." it is indeed true. don't allow others to affect you. stay strong and believe in yourself. cos at many times, success comes from 98% of will power and 2% of capability. and many times, we do not know how good we are till we gave our very best.

so you can do it,kaiyuan! ^^

2010-08-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

OH geez! i know it's been a long long long long long time since i last updated my blog. just a couple of events which happened recently...

July- Ignite

it felt pretty much great to be on the actual stage but of a different role. believe it or not, ignite was the FIRST lead role i ever got after so many years of training. yes, i started dancing at 3. but right from i am 3 to i first entering into NAFA, i didn't have much performance opportunity. besides school performance, i would have about 2? and i was always placed behind cos of my height. but well, NAFA did groom me a lot, NAFA was my changing point.

but well..

August - lunch time and SYOG

4th august - lunch time concert.

was pretty much nervous for that and definitely looking forward to it. seniors did the graduation dance(white costume) and junior did my chreo (the one in black and white and mask).the past few weeks of rehearsals had really paid off. meeting them every Monday cos i have got ballet on wednesday, and cracking my brain to think about the steps and synopsis. everything wasn't easy. was really really really proud of everyone of them! i think they were really good!

and special thanks to the people who really helped me a lot along the way,

make-up : Clare and Hsin rui

Costume : sherwin

booking of rooms for rehearsals : clare ,rene and all the SAO people

and of cos the rest of the ppl who are out there giving me both verbally and spiritual support/encouragement. really glad that all of u were there for me! THANKS A MILLION!

7th August- SYOG

didn't manage to find any nice pictures. so yea. hope that this video would satisfy you. was very privileged to be able to participate in this event. sacrifice many study/project time just for rehearsal. well, the sacrifice were great.

ok. that's all for now. i dun think u will want to see my exam time-table. well be back blogging AFTER my exams which is 7th sept. see ya!

ps: i do really miss you...

2010-07-02T10:09:00.000-07:00

back from ignite.

real tired now. had school in the morn,rushed home, met lyn and went to PLMGS. everything was kinda rush today. but still. :D

just a quick update before i wash up and sleep.

ignite went pretty well. it was a lot better than the last last rehearsal when i watched. (i wonder what did they did over 1 week)
and i like the bouquet of flowers! it is pink!
saw quite a few teachers but didn't managed to talk. -.-
think this might be my LAST ignite. will most likely not be in SG anymore on the next ignite. well..
met up with jia yi and sam . talked alot.
had a great time with them at HK cafe. and i bid farewell at 12 plus! ZOMG!

ok. i am tired now. there's teaching tmr. and ballet. ZOMG! i need to find my turn out back. will blog more about it on the next entry.

nitez earthling.

2010-06-28T00:56:00.001-07:00

today is the first day of school.

kind of hate it. cos when school starts, it means there is more work to be completed or done. UGH!on the contrary, i dun mind starting school, cos i does nothing productive at home beside munching on tidbits and gaining weight!

had breakfast with the girls today after FM. the very rare time where i actually eat breakfast! wasn't hungry, but couldn't very much resist the temptation!

for some unknown reason the auntie gave me the happy meal cup when i ordered for small orange juice. HEH HEH!

damn sinful breakfast. not because it is damn fattening but also because i didn't finish it. yea yea. think about the kids in the third year country! whatever.

was initially planning of not going school tmr. cos there's only 1 lecture. but, will be involved in outreach. oh well! there goes my self-proclaimed holiday!

will be doing my choreography later. but damn, i need some inspiration. stayed home and watched 20+ SYF dance video, but still couldn't get anything out of it! ugh ugh!! OR may be in the midst of searching for inspiration i will clean up the steps? OH that's a good idea!

on a side note, please tell me that i am awesome. cos i finally remembered to bring the mask for my choreography. HO HO HO!

2010-06-28T00:56:00.000-07:00

today is the first day of school.

had breakfast with the girls today after FM. the very rare time where i actually eat breakfast! wasn't hungry, but couldn't very much resist the temptation!

for some unknown reason the auntie gave me the happy meal cup when i ordered for small orange juice. HEH HEH!

damn sinful breakfast. not because it is damn fattening but also because i didn't finish it. yea yea. think about the kids in the third year country! whatever.

was initially planning of not going school tmr. cos there's only 1 lecture. but, will be involved in outreach. oh well! there goes my self-proclaimed holiday!

2010-06-24T09:30:00.000-07:00

today after watching toy story 3, i was queuing up for the washroom. and this little girl was with his dad and his younger brother. and she wanted to use to washroom too. her dad wanted her to use the gents instead. cos she's young and is afraid of her safety. but she shouted out real loud that she's a big girl , she's 5! and she doesn't want to go to the gent , she is big enough to take care of herself. out of goodwill, i agreed to take care of her when she's in the washroom and bringing her back to her dad safety. and i know, deep inside that girl's mind is that she wants to grow up quickly!

when we were all young, all that we are troubled is about how not enough didn't we play. most of us thought of growing up fast. cos we thought that being a child is boring. there's many restriction to it. there were many things in which we are not allowed to do.

however the sad truth is that though you are older, you are given more responsibilities in your life. you have more problems as compared to a little kid. and sometimes the problems ain't easy to solve. it's not like a i can solve it immediately kind of thing.

well, isn't it nice to be still a kid? where your worries and problems are nothing.

sometimes, i seriously hope that i can like take a day or two break from the real world. there are so many things to do. so many un-done agenda. i have freaking lots of commitments. and there are freaking lots of problems to solve. yes, i do know of many things that are happening. (just because i kept quiet , that doesn't mean i don't know anything. it simply means i don't bother to care. cos i can't be bothered by it. :) anw, back to the topic. though many people said that ignorance is bliss, but i would only agree to a certain extent.

ignorance is bliss ONLY to certain circumstances. yes you can ignore to things that are said untrue, you can ignore to things that is being bias. BUT you cannot ignore the problems that you are facing. cos, problems will still be problems you leave it there un-solved, it will still be un-solved. HAIZ.

perhaps, it is time that i should solve them. no point chicken out and leave it unsolved.

ps: i managed to upload the photos for the previous entry. go take a look!

2010-06-20T06:36:00.000-07:00

this week have been kinda slack. did NOTHING much productive. except that i found a code for my timer for my EBAJ. and most of the credits goes to safi.

had been slacking at home and gaining fats! OH SHOOT!

on the other side, perhaps the only productive thing i had done was to research on my future college. ok. now as i thought of leaving. i am feeling BOTH excited and sad. it's like i had been waiting for this opportunities for YEARS! way way before i did my O's. and i was held back so many years. but then i started thinking about leaving everyone here. OH DEAR!and my birthdays will no longer be the same when i am abroad. i will be spending the time ALONE! it's like!!! well, we can't have the best of both world i suppose. if one wants something, he/she must be willing to scarifies some other things. UGH!

ok. just a little update of this week. had bugis cum Chomp Chomp on monday! AWESOME food which are damn fattening. WELL, fats can be shed. but time spending with girlfriends are priceless. i will learnt to appreciate it when i am abroad.

tuesday was slacking day at home. initially planned to edit my music. and i ended up spending time with Sheldon. OMG! Had hearzout on wednesday. initially planned to head to far east to do manicure before i head back for dance in the night. and guess what! orchard was flooding! ZOMG! damn the rain. plan ruined!

was supposedly to have sakae buffet on thurs with cousin.but she had something on. it's ok. cousin. :D so met someone else . had a lovely high-tea! thanks dear! thanks for the accompany. :D Friday was rehearsal follow by rehearsal. rehearsal from 1 till 10. with an hour plus in between to travel and eat my dinner. how nice.

sat was awesome. ok. look at the picts!

supporting Lihui in her competition.

dinner at BBQ chicken.

the girls whom i ate with

lyn and i (L)

with lihui :D:D

ok. the text added was just for entertainment purpose. for any roll eyes or un-nice comments, please keep it to yourself. cos am not very much interested in knowing.thanks.

sunday was great. went out with cousin. and guess what i bought a S$110 BONIA wallet!! and it's pink!! *SCREAM* ok. nothing big deal to you rich kids. but , it's big deal to me. cos it's the FIRST time i bought a branded wallet with my own money. when i meant my own money i doesn't meant the money that my parents gave me and i saved. it meant money in which i earned using my hard-earned money. FYI, i stopped getting pocket money and i pay for my own bills. :D

2010-06-13T21:30:00.000-07:00

it kind of struck me when one of my classmate asked me this, "what have you been doing?! how come you are always busy? and have to rush off everyday after school?! "

yea. i kind of felt demoralized. i had a passion which requires a lot of commitment.

last week was definitely an unforgettable week for all the nafa senior girls. a week that we lost someone great to us. someone important to us, someone who played a very important in our life. it sounds contradicting, we hate to receive scoldings. yet, we are missing it. we hate hearing her nags, yet we wish that we would wish that she would nag at us like how she used to do.

we all stood a semi-circle at the departure hall, and for some unknown reason, our tears started rolling. it was uncontrollable. i knew that this would happen. i had both mentally and emotionally prepared myself the night before . but i really can't help it when i saw lao shi crying.

well..

before she left, we had a chat with lao shi at the nearest cafe. she then started telling us about how she met her husband and about the kind of life she went through during the culture evolution. it was kind of scary though.

lao shi also told everyone who was around the table of my plans going overseas for professional dance in the next few years to come. then she randomly asked me this " your parents finally agreed in allowing you to dance?" well. lao shi knew how much i fought just to dance.

i gave up A's cos i see no use in continuing in taking when i have no intention at all to go to a uni. and i applied to a dance college secretly without my parents knowing. i had the most heated quarrels with my parents cos they were having a lot of disagreement of me having dance as a career and so on.

well.. glad that everything have came to an end.

thurs ballet mass rehearsal was different. it was the first time we had rehearsal in the seminar room. the little kids were really really really damn noisy i swear. two years ago, when lao shi was still there, it was different. cai lao shi have this special aura.

once she stepped into the room, everyone started becoming serious and quiet. cos we are all scared and afraid of getting scolded. the little kids are scared of her, but the senior girls love her!

oh well!

2010-06-07T06:46:00.000-07:00

Looking back at how much i have transformed, it is kinda scary. i know you were the one who made me who i am. you were the one who was so patient to me over the years. you were the one who made the impossible possible. you were the one whom i look upon to no matter what. cos , you are my hero anything that i would want to be.i can fly higher, cos you are the wings beneath my wings.

i remember five years ago when i first stepped into NAFA SYT , i had my interview with cai lao shi. my first impression when i was outside the class window outside lao shi's office was that, this teacher is damn old. can she do the steps properly?!

i had many doubts in her. my perception of a ballet teacher at that time was a tall,slim and YOUNG lady. but , i was wrong. in most cases. the more experience the teachers are, the better they are.

to me, cai lao shi is not only a ballet teacher. she is more than a ballet teacher. she teaches me many things more than what my other ballet teacher would do.when i first came into NAFA, though i had been dancing for many years before that, but my techniques were damn lousy. i doesn't even looked ballet trained. i looked like i was being picked up somewhere.

my first year in NAFA was bad and lousy. though i love ballet a lot, i am scared of coming for ballet. ballet have became fear for me. i was scared that cai lao shi would somehow screamed at me cos i did very badly. i was afraid that she would smacked me with her super strong arm cos of my poor lousy bad posture (which is a bad habit i trained since young).

every saturday was a terror to me. i am always looking forward to saturday night cos that marks the end of my ballet lesson. there were many times where i really wanted to cry. cai lao shi is not any typical teacher who will sweet talk to you. when she scolds you, she really does. it is something in which many are unable to take it. once, she told the class this, " if you are coming for a class, you are learning something. the only way for you to learn something is when someone point out your mistakes. there's no point crying when you get scolded. cos then you wouldn't be able to learn anything. "

back then, i was really really afraid of making mistake. i kept many things to myself. cos i know the more i does, the more mistakes will be made. i was afraid to perform, i was afraid of going all the way. cai lao shi saw it, she told us this, " it's pointless to be hiding it. cos you fear to make mistake, you fear to get scolded. but when you never try, you never know whether are you correct. you will never improve and you will never make it. it's ok to be scolded. at least you learnt something. "

3 months ago, miss ren told me about cai lao shi retiring and she is leaving NAFA and migrating to aust. it was something in which i hate to hear. at that point of time, i really felt like crying. it is something hard to accept. yes, lao shi will not be able to be with me for my whole life, she has her own life . but, she's my hero, she's the wind beneath my wings and she's my inspiration. without her, i am nothing.

a little summary about my awesome lao shi. she was the prima ballerina in china back in her younger days. she was the first lead dancer for the dance "bai mao yu" . it is like the first Odette. she was the legend in china ballet. her life as a dancer is definitely not easy with all the politics and so on at that point of time. but, she trained really hard to be who she is. after retiring as a dancer, she became the deputy director for shanghai ballet academy. many of her students became really good dancers. (except for us)

a couple of years ago, when i was at MI. the first question my (china) dance instructor asked me was who my dance teacher was. i was proud in answering " cai guo ying lao shi" he was shocked and surprised. he then started telling me how lucky i am to be her student. a few weeks later when our techniques teacher came , another china dance instructor, he was really excited and went to tell him that i am cai lao shi's student. he too was shocked and amazed. then they started telling me about my awesome lao shi - a reputable dancer back in china where everyone respects her. and they too respect me not because i am good. but cos i am cai lao shi's student.

and yes. cai lao shi will always be remembered. she is one awesome person who pushed me to my maximum. she never gave up on me no matter how lousy i am. she inspired me to work harder, she inspired to work towards my dream , my passion (though she had warned me a lot of times that it is not easy) she made me realize what i really wanted in life- dance. she made the impossible the possible.i do feel insulted when people starts criticizing her. (and mind you, i will fight with u all the way regardless of what price it takes, if you start criticizing her)

she might not be the teacher with all the relevant ballet cert, but she's the best that i can every ask for.

farewell lao shi.

and for the last time,

谢谢蔡老师，再见蔡老师！

2010-06-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

For some unknown reason, I kind of pray that rehearsals would end fast. Having lots of blisters on my feet now. Pointe is putting on my craze.

Just as I thought Saturday 5 hour was a killer, ystd's was even worse! Had sandbag on both my ankle yesterday (1.5 kg each side). And yes Lao shi was right , you will feel extremely light once u take out. But my legs are aching now!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-06-05T04:53:00.000-07:00

Am at desiree's bday party now. Damn shagged with all d rehearsal just now. Had 5 hour straight pointe . Was almost late for solo just now. Ugh!

The thought of it repeating tomorrow makes me ugh to d max!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-05-31T07:04:00.000-07:00

tired!
had rehearsal at NAFA just now.
the entire two weeks gonna be damn crazy. rush to rehearsal everyday after school.
shagged.
but happy! ^^
awesome! woke up and lost my voice this morning.
must be all the scoldings i had to my kids on saturday!
i seriously wonder how am i going to teach tmr!
hold a mic and teach?!
god bless me man!

please read the comments given by my "friends". thanks man. that's what i call true friend. instead of being concern about my throat, they are happy that i lost my voice!

GG!

2010-05-23T08:18:00.000-07:00

had a crazy week. 12 session of performance, 17 buffet . ALL within 5 DAYS!

grew awesomely fat now.

just glad that everything has come to an end. and yes! i didn't fell, neither did any of my costume came off in all the performances. everything went perfectly fine! THANK GOD!

returning back to the books tomorrow after 1 week off from academics. there's A LOT to catch up.

it's pretty late now. will be turning in now. so that i can be fully recharged tomorrow for school.

shall talk more on graduation at a later date.

nights ppl

ps: i had manicure today! nails are orange! *scream* yes! had wanted to painted my nails since musical but couldn't cos of performance. and now i can! WOOT! orange nails! :D

2010-05-13T19:50:00.002-07:00

2010-05-13T19:50:00.001-07:00

" i am a vegetarian. but i occasionally eat steak. OH!!I LOVE STEAKKK!!! "

"please do not use my toothbrush.if you do, i will jump down that window.(pause) and please do not attend my funeral."

"A : you are hacking into my facebook account?!

B: No. you cannot say that i hacked your account when your password are the same for everything."

ROFL!

people. please watch big bang theory!

2010-05-04T07:57:00.000-07:00

awesome day, reached home before 8pm. first time in months
yesterday's performance was bad. just as i thought that my double turn was good, i fell FLAT on the ground.
as a result, injured my wrist. it kinda hurt when i bend forward and backwards.
thank god, with the accompany of milord, i got myself a wrist guard. :D
watched musical DVD, concluded that i looked damn fat at that time.
but, i still need to slim down even more for graduation.
costume is white!
Damn it!
will be getting a pair of new pointe shoe tomorrow!
YIPPEEE!

don't ask me why am i typing in point form. i am just too lazy to type in sentences.

love,

natalie

2010-05-02T13:46:00.001-07:00

in a few hours time, i will be doing my first ever lunch time concert. and will be having ballet assessment in the evening. *FINGER CROSS*

i am not particularly nervous for the performance later BUT BUT BUT lady luck doesn't seems to be with me all these while, to be exact, since my ATOD jazz exam. for the benefits of those who doesn't know, ATOD jazz exam was -.- while doing my turns, my bun decided to be so "polite" and the pins started to fly off and the next thing i know, everything came out. i then became the laughing joke in the exam room. people started laughing their heads off in the exam room. like seriously laughed and the examiner had no choice but to ask them to face the wall. and i swear that i never will take jazz exam again, and i never did.

then follow on by CNY performance. felt so dumb and unprofessional. the same thing happened. bun gave way. AND THE PINS WERE FLYING TO THE AUDIENCE! worst still, at that 30 secs i was the only person on stage. and i can't wait to get off stage. seriously, it was real real real embarrassing.

SYF was "awesome". my hairdo came off as well. and i was cursing and swearing deep inside. thank god, i didn't allow it to affect my performance that day. cos i was like come on, this is SYF! i cannot afford to pull down the rest of the dancers dancing. so for my solo,my hair practically covered half of my face and i had to do some turns which face the judges.

SYF dance presentation, i made sure that similar case doesn't happen again. that night, i sprayed my hair as if the hair spray are unlimited and used as much hair gel as possible. thank god my hair was fine. BUT BUT BUT, i kinda trip a step! and it's my solo part again! was like DAMN! i could still see it in my syf dance presentation DVD. they kinda zoom in! ugh!

musical. musical was UGH. everything seems fine till the day before the first show! one small little accident caused me so much damn trouble. couldn't dance for 3 weeks, getting scoldings, roles being taken out and so on. (not really nice to state everything out. )

club crawl. first day had 2 shows and second day had 1. after the first day i was like cool, nothing seems to go wrong. everything seems fine. and dumb me to think about it. cos on the 3rd show which is the last show, something happened!!! OMG! it's like speaking of the evil. my scarf dropped!!! so for half of the time i was thinking on how to pick it up! but thank god, it dropped at the correct side of the stage. phew!

ok. now i just hope that tomorrow will go smoothly,nothing happen. for BOTH performance and assessment! wish me luck!

ps: a SPECIAL note to a SPECIAL friend - my conscience is clear. where is yours.

2010-05-02T02:47:00.000-07:00

Five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights,In cups of coffee,In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand Six hundred minutes
How do you measure?A year in the life?

How about love?How about love?How about love? Measure in love

Seasons of love. Seasons of love

.....

Oh you got to got to Remember the love! You know that love is a gift from up above Share love, give love spread love .Measure measure your life in love.

2010-04-28T10:04:00.000-07:00

I know that your powers of retention are as wet as a warthog's backside But thick as you are, pay attention.
My words are a matter of pride ,it's clear from your vacant expressions.The lights are not all on upstairs.But, we're talking kings and successions
Even you can't be caught unawares,So prepare for a chance of a lifetime ,be prepared for sensational news.

A shining new era is tiptoeing nearer

....

Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared.
Be prepared!

2010-04-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

yesterday while my dad fetched me to ballet at around 10 plus...

dad: SO, what time are u coming back tonight?

me : not sure, i sms you later in the evening .

dad: do you know that i do not goes to bed till u comes home?

me : oh . then what if i were to be dancing overseas?

dad: then we will all follow you there. :)

i was quite touched when i heard that. like seriously. ok. i admit i am being quite selfish, part of the reason why i am happy is cos my dad will be able drive me home everyday after dance. BUT BUT BUT, well, may be it's not a good idea after all.is like asking them to give up everything here in singapore so that they will be able to physically support their daughter's dream.

i NEED to learn to be independent. i NEED to learn how to take care of myself. it's like i have been relying on people around me too much. whenever my shoes or costume needs sewing, i would gladly bring it home and ask my mum to do it for me cos i dun know how to sew and i always have this weird mindset that the ribbons will come out half-way while i am dancing, especially pointe, despite my mum constantly teaching me whenever she sews.

and yes, i DON'T know how to cook. stop laughing, if you are. though dancers eat really little, but still, i ought to know how to look all the basic dishes. [and milord is constantly laughing at me whenever i told him that i am cooking. -.-]

haiz.

talking about leaving, it makes me :(

it's like putting down everything here. my family, my friends, my gossip queens, milord, and so on. shit. i seriously hate to leave when i think about leaving everyone.

ok. why am i talking about this when i have 2 years more till i graduate? and i have yet finalize which are the schools in which i will be applying to. geez!

on a side track, yesterday was HKAPA audition, and i didn't go due to some various reason. well, good luck to those who went! :) i meant the results.

2010-04-25T07:52:00.000-07:00

for god's sake, please STOP asking if i am anorexic or bulimic! which anorexic kids eat more than me? and do i look like one who will rush to the wash room immediately after each meal?

i am eating normally! plus, if u realized i am dancing more than how i used to and that's why! thereby, i repeat myself for the last time, i am NOT anorexic nor bulimic!

ok. heading to bed now. cos i have pledged to be coffee-free for 6 months and i have 4 months to go. so, i need ample of rest to be awake for tomorrow!

2010-04-21T20:53:00.001-07:00

My next aim in life : to shed 5 kg by the end of next week.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-04-20T08:41:00.000-07:00

trust is such an amazing thing. once u lost it, u lost.

i am not pissed , but rather, disappointed.

hope to get some peace for the rest of the night.

sorry for the trouble,

thanks for the understanding.

2010-04-18T08:36:00.000-07:00

for some unknown reason, i was still up awake yesterday at 2am. and sky was kinda online as well. so he randomly asked me this question, "how old did you started dancing?" and i was kinda taken aback by his randomly and later on i asked why. then he told me the reason.

for the benefits of those who can't interpret images, he was trying to say that i am different like normal people, i FLOAT.so many years of training actually makes one to float? lol.

anyway, talking about dance, i feel real real real disappointed with myself. yesterday someone told me that may be i should re-consider if i really want to dance full time, it's not hard. and today, miss ren then told me that i have slacken a lot this year. i am constantly late for class and my absence records are horribly high. yes, though ballet is like an extra thing. something which most people treat it as a form of relaxation, a recreation to get out of their mundane life. but for me is different. each training is important to me as i am building my career everyday.

true enough, this year have been a bad year for me. i am constantly giving myself that excuse that i will do better next week cos i am tired today. or rather, i am constantly telling myself that there's no use in working so hard because i have a stronger foundation than most people in my class. and i also gives myself that excuse that i once had a really bad injury on my right ankle, so i should excuse myself for not being able to do things well. cos it's bad. and yes, i suddenly lost that passion that motivation that i used to have towards dance.

comparing myself with how i am like a year ago, there's a HUGE difference. last year at this point of time, i have gotten a distinction for my ballet exam, i have performed for CNY and the rehearsal wowed people (i screwed the actual one) and last of all, i obtained a GOLD in SYF. and i was proud on how hardworking i was during SYF. when there's free time, i am always there perfecting every single steps, never given myself any break.

haiz. what happened to you kaiyuan? can u have some sense of urgency that you have got very little time to build your career!

pardon me! i need some wake up call.

anyway, something to make you guys to be jealous about! miss XIA HAIYING is going to be my ballet teacher. and she's going to take over lao shi when she retires this june and will be HEAD OF DANCE DEPARTMENT in NAFA SYT! yes. miss xia haiying the company dancer in SDT.

ugh, but the sad thing is that miss xia coming in means that lao shi is leaving us. NO NO NO! omg!

2010-04-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

the week have been crazy. there's so many things in which i need to deal with. ugh!

just a little update on what happened the past few days.

monday was real real real ugh. had nothing much to do.

tuesday went to school for dance.and dinner with the dancers.

Was supposed to go for BI1008's class outing. but was down with fever. stayed at home.and had really bad cramps as well. which makes me ultra UGH!

Thursday was real real real awesome! outing with proposal people. something in which i had been looking forward to since FMO was over.

first was pool.

with lyn my dear.

ps: i know i gained weight. save the details. thanks.

gossiping with tiffany and drinking my green tea cream. NO coffee content!

with tiffany again. pardon my fringe.

with gossip queens plus kit and tiffany.

ps: not the whole gossip queens are here though.

watched date night while waiting for the KBOX gang.

Dinner at pizza hut, a "high-class" place!

a sinful one with lots of cheese. but oh well. just give me a break about dieting. it is whom i dine with that are the hightlights for the day. NOT the food or calories that i am going to consume. and not forgetting, CHEESE!

Dinner was real real real awesome.

first was when i dropped my fork and i went *OMG*. for some unknown reason, the rest of them find my gestures funny and decided to imitate. so the whole entire table know how to say *OMG* just like natalie. -.-

someone then decided to play this silent game and to see who will be the first one who starts talking. ok. there's no need to guess, i am the one who first started talking. cos i can't help by picturing myself not talking and showing sign langues to the waiter/waitress that i needed a fork.

Jun hao experience shared about the phonecall with * on his birthday was funny! i seriously can't help by laughing whenever i thought about it. and finally he told someone else!

had dessert at my dessert home. sorry to say, mango ice or whatever u called it was disappointing. but still, it's who i ate with that matters. not the food.

went to NTUC thereafter to purchase some snacks for later part of the night. COS GOSSIP QUEENS ARE STAYING OVER AT LYN'S PLACE! yea yea yea. i know late night snacks are fattening. save the details.

staying over was awesome! we gossip to real late and laughed a lot too! ho ho ho!

went to school on Friday morning to get some books. more books to be purchase on Monday!

dinner with jia yi, bee and sam. the girls started queuing aston since 6 plus and by the time we get our food was 8 plus. so we kinda waited for an hour and a half. but it is still worth it. had a great catch up with the girls. and had sinful desert at ice monster.

alright. i think i got to stop here. it's going to be midnight soon. and i ought to be in bed. so that i can get up on time for ballet tomorrow! before lao shi calls my mummy telling her that i skipped ballet again!

oh ya. i kinda sign up for this formspring. it is a place whereby you can ask me questions. and i will answer you. here's the link : http://www.formspring.me/NatalieLin have fun asking and waiting for my reply. :D

2010-04-14T01:04:00.000-07:00

Everyone of us have got our own struggles, our own story.

but to really think about it, how tough are our struggles are as compared to others.

take a look at this video.

may be we should stop complaining and look around us. if we are really that bad, what about them?

2010-04-12T00:20:00.001-07:00

life never seems to be the same as how it was the past 5 weeks.

monday no longer seems monday.

and deep inside i am feeling real real real empty.

ugh. yes. i am having post-FMO syndrome. stop asking me why am i constantly having post syndrome. was having post musical syndrome a few months back and now FMO.

nevertheless, FMO is one of the greatest memory. and it is indeed something in which i really do see it as a life-changing experience.

7 weeks back when the registration for FMO was opened, i kinda startled if i should join. due to peer pressure, i joined. during the pre-camp, we too were also discussing if we should stay on as a planner or just a student helper. and we could foresee the amount of sacrifice we would need to give in the next 5 weeks. and due to peer pressure, i continued my journey as a planner.

i can never forget how naive i was back then. i doubted words of advices given to me by the excos. for example, saying that planning FMO ain't easy. deep inside i was like, come on , how tough can planning be? and, it's not the first time that i am experiencing planning an event. there were numerous of orientation which i was involved back then when i was in the council.

but i was wrong. real real real wrong. planning FMO isn't really easy. there were many factors in which we need to take into consideration. we were experiencing more rejection as compared to approval. and trust me. every rejection makes me feel more sucky. and yes, sometimes i do feel frustrated like why can't they just accept the concept / idea that we thought of.

and one of the most memorable incident would be the proposal team staying up in school till midnight to do alignment. and yes, that's one thing in which i appreciated every single member in staying. and i am touched as well. they had the choice to stay till real late with us or to home for a early sleep. but all of them who stayed decided to stay with the DIP I/C and to give us the moral support in which we need. and that night was definitely unforgettable. the night whereby lyn and i first broke down due to the stress that we are getting from FMO. ugh. glad that all these had came to an end.

a little message to all those involved in FMO 2010/2011 :

to all the EXCOS:

thanks for the guidance for these 5 weeks. thanks for being so patient . thanks for standing all our nonsense. thanks a lot!

to all my DIP I/C :

i really enjoyed the days we all spent the days in the printing room for meetings , the scoldings that we been through together. all the joy and laughter we all share. samuel's "natalie WOO~~", my complains to andrew when one of the member disturbs me and he will go " why are you bullying my IC?" , Jun Hao's the bitchy boy, safi's the superman and lyn's shy shy.

i am glad that all the 6 of us work like a family and we are there for one another when one of us are not able to make it for one particular day. it's been really awesome working with 5 of you! thanks for the 5 weeks!

to all my proposal department members:

you guys rock! thanks for being there for us when we needed you the most. thanks for being there to give us the comfort when we broke down. thanks for giving us the joy and laughter during planning. thanks for being there to edit each and every rejection we get after every meeting. thanks for all the bitching session. and yes, i do enjoy gossiping. gossip queens you rock.

joy,yi-shih, huifangS, lydia,li hui ,francesca, jia wei, li ping, angeline , you girls are loved! thanks for everything!!

to all my BI ogls :

sorry for being a bad person for the past 5 weeks , to be so strict about your attendance, your attire and so on. but i am happy that each and everyone of you performed so well during the orientation. to be frank, there were many that i thought was here to play rather than serious work, but my perception of you really changed from day one i saw you leading the class. i was like WOAH , this person is really serious. and there were many of them whom i had a change of perception due to FMO. when i used to see you guys in lectures, i thought that you guys are people who doesn't take things seriously, you guys are people who are proud and unfriendly to communicate with. but you guys weren't . in fact, you are people who are real real nice. thanks for the five weeks!

to all the rest who are involved in the FMO and are not stated above :

thanks for making the whole FMO a memorable one to the freshie. thanks for making it a life changing experience me. i do learnt something from everyone. i too (think that) grow up up from this. thanks a lot!

2010-03-30T08:49:00.000-07:00

i don't know. everything seems so stress up. proposal needed to be submitted TODAY. and we have hell lot of alignments to be done. and deep inside it was guilt plus a sense of helplessness.

at the same time, to think about it, i felt like a real real real loser. i am always calling milord whenever i break down. and yes. thank god that he is always there listening to me. and it's like out of a sudden i was retardly telling him some lame jokes. and the next moment, i was on the phone crying.

i think i should seriously learn to be strong and independent. what if i (touch wood) were to injured myself again while i am overseas dancing? call back to Singapore for him?! ugh. on top of that, i felt so selfish to disturb his night when it is the only time while he gets to rest.

ugh.

got to expect more to come tomorrow. with dance in the night. it's ultra. :( and is running a slight fever and mild headache now. ugh. alright. off to bed.

2010-03-29T11:34:00.000-07:00

if this post was written a month ago, the title would perhaps be " i am giving up". i know it is stupid to give up dance. especially when it is something in which i had wanted to do since i was a little girl. something in which i fought for before i left MI. something which i told myself that i will never give up.

no one can understand the amount stress which i was under.like suddenly you sprained your ankle ONE DAY before your actual performance. the pain in which you have to bear through your performance. and how lousy i became thereafter cos of the injury. i couldn't even do a proper clean pirouette (turn). yes! and is like one turn is nothing much as compared to the 2-3 turns that i am doing on a daily basics.

and on the injured day itself, i actually had this stupid thinking. what if i were to be a dancer and get myself injured the day before my performance? my career would be tarnished. and who would still want me in future production? there are a lot more dancers in which they can choose from. (unless i have something in which other doesn't have. but sad to sad, i doesn't)

but i was glad that i didn't give up. i pulled through. and definitely would like to thanks all those who were there by my side when i needed you the most. giving me the encouragements which i needed more than anything else. allowing me to go for the extra mile. thanks guys! without you, i wouldn't be proud that i actually pressed on.

on the contrary, i thought that the 3 weeks breaks i got from dance was pretty good. for some unknown reason, i felt that i am much better than how i used to be. don't ask me why, i have got no idea.

someone asked me this just now, whether is my dance training which makes me stronger? each time near failure i would some how some what pull myself up.

i am NOT a born dancer. and i do agree that i am not a good dancer now either. if one were to analyze me, i have got more flaws than pros. i worked really hard over the years.just to impress people who back then looked down on me. who told me not to be naive that i can never be a dancer. and of cos because i really am passionate about dancing.

no one really realized how much i worked hard these years. and of cos without *you i won't be able to be whom i am. which i am really grateful to *you. *you were the one who never gave up on me. *you were the one who have been there all these years, it's really sad to know that you are leaving soon. ugh!

2010-03-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

YOU were the reason into why i improve so fast over the years.

YOU were the one who never gave up on me no matter how lousy i am.

YOU were the one who gave me the motivation to work really hard.

YOU were the one who made me who i am today.

yes. it is pretty sad news that you are leaving. hopefully, my passion, my perseverance and my motivations doesn't leave together with u as well!

2010-03-09T01:02:00.001-08:00

Since I have some time now, shall write a short entry.

Think will be going to school more often from today. Ugh.

Ok, got to go.Shall blog more later I reach home.

Bye!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-03-08T15:24:00.001-08:00

Sometimes life is full of irony. When I weigh a little heavier everyone started saying that I am fat and ought to loose weight. But when I shed a few kilos , they started asking if I'm annorexic.

Can they seriously make up their mind?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-02-22T22:13:00.000-08:00

Yea, that's a screen shot of my desktop. for your information, if you wonder what's in the middle with all the table and so on, it's my exam time schedule! and i seriously find it effective to be my desktop wall paper as in serve a reminder that i should be studying NOT facebooking or anything unproductive. (and yes, i know i have got a lot of application on my desktop )

death day starts this Thursday and i swear that the first paper itself is already a killer. UGH! and i will be able to spell freedom from next Thursday onwards! and yes! i can't wait for next Thursday to come!

then, i will have the time to sort things out.

2010-02-21T19:51:00.000-08:00

you are not me, you don't know how i feel.

2010-02-20T01:52:00.000-08:00

this might be a really old pair of ballet shoes but it meant a lot to me.

it had been with me when i first started my days in NAFA. when all the horrible training starts.

it reminds me on how much i have worked hard over these years, from my pass to my distinctions , from a small fly to who i am today.(though i ain't that great)

i never forget how hard i have worked these years. i not a born dancer. i am not born with the flexibility a dancer needs, i am not born with the correct feet nor the correct body. i worked really hard for whatever i have today.

But, things are different now. i no longer had the motivation to dance. i even have this thought of giving up dancing. and perhaps find a 9-5 job after graduation. i don't know. it's felt stupid, i know. i am giving up after working so hard for it. the amount of scarifies that i made, the amount of times my parents quarreled arguing on where to go dance or poly.

and yes, i would admit i felt real real real demoralized due to my weak ankle. i could not even do a single turn let alone double or triple. haiz.

perhaps i really need some identity check, to really think through what i want.

or may be all i need is a wake up call.

haiz.

2010-02-18T18:19:00.001-08:00

i seriously doubt if i could really pull through and make it somewhere if i insists of dancing.

for some unknown reason, i had this crazy thoughts, maybe i will just be a housewife. i shall stay home taking care of my children, doing household chores, teaching my kids both moral education and academic stuff.

i don't know.

perhaps i am going through a mid-life crisis.

oh hell. how old am i? i am barely 16?! ( i exaggerated) ok. i have not even reach 20 (this is awesomely true!)! how can i be having mid-life crisis?!

2010-02-15T12:41:00.000-08:00

sometimes while looking at my own little kids, i felt that i am somehow like them.

for instance, i twisted my ankle one day before the musical during the final rehearsal. (it was painful ,ok! )

and later on i was crying over the phone to milord. He was of cos taken aback. cos a few hours ago, we were joking about how retarded i really am , always laughing at every minute matters.

to think of it, i felt that i am like my own little kid, crying after every fall.

oh well.

BUT little kids cried because it's physically painful.

i cried cos i was very much afraid to be taken out last minute due to my weak ankle. and i know that at that point of time there was a high possibility that i MIGHT be taken out. who on earth would not feel sad if he/she encounter the same situation as me? is like after working so hard for one particular thing, and you are suddenly taken out just because of an accident.

ah. OH well.

2010-02-14T02:08:00.000-08:00

life is contradicting.

should we or should we not speak up ?

what the hell happened to the freedom of speech?

2010-02-11T11:20:00.000-08:00

before you read this please take note that i am not going to be the real me, there are unhappy things which i am going to write.

and also, this is going to be a GENERAL post. not pointing at anyone specific. Ok. may be i am writing about ONE particular person. but, sorry, no name is going to be exposed. if you think that i am writing about u, then it is you. if not, stop guessing who is it and do NOT be an irritant by asking me who is it, cos , i will blog about u in my next entry. (i was exaggerating by saying that i am going to blog about you if you ask, but do NOT be an irritant. i will just turn u off.)

i wasn't sad because my system couldn't work. i was already prepared that it cannot be work. i mean come on, this is my work, i of cos know very well more than anyone. if you were to assumed that i wasn't happy because of that, u are wrong.

i just failed to realize how selfish you actually are till now. i always thought yes, people likes to credits their own work, they likes he work to be special, they doesn't like others to have similar things. i think most people will agree with it. but, to what extend will one is willing to share is something pisses people off.

you are unwilling to share whatever knowledge you know to anyone. and yes everyone to the extend that you just sat there laughing or rather smirking to yourself when you see your group member struggling for help. what do you do when you heard that they need help? you laughed. you just let them survive by their own. if they are able to live through, good for them. if they are able to find other survival tools, awesome for them. if they just died at that place, oh just too bad for them. they doesn't have that luck.

are these what group members are for for one another? you showed everyone how a leader show lead the entire team - survive by your own if you can.

besides leaving the people to survive in the jungle by their own, you too, ordered them around. restricting them to do everything to your needs or rather WANTS. it's just like putting a person in the jungle and telling them, i want you to live through, but i do not want you to drink any water from lakes,river,pond or pool. neither do i want to see you hunting for animals for food or clothings. insane ,isn't it?

thirdly, asking everyone to come at this time and ended up coming a lot later WITHOUT informing that you will be late. for instance asking people to come at 2 and arrives at 345.oh. wow.yes it is very nice of you that ur intention of asking us coming earlier is to give us more time to complete our work. oh. i don't deny that it's very nice of you. cos i personally do admit that i work best in certain location. however it very much felt like we have been cheated on our feelings. Example, your boyfriend asked you to meet him at this posh restaurant at 7pm but only arrives at 845pm. when asked , oh why are you late, and he gave you the reason like , " oh , i just want you to go there earlier to see how posh the restaurant is and make necessary changes to your attire in case you can't enter later on. " come one, you already stated the location of the high-class restaurant , is there a need for one to go there earlier to understand the "high class-ness " of the place beforehand?! and what's more pissed off is, your boyfriend is not changed yet. he is still in t-shirt and slippers.

so, later on when he comes, he starts blaming you , for example, your bag you brought to today(cos dress code : high class apparel ) is too small. he can't put his stuff into your bag.

if at this point of time, you tell me you want to break up with him. ugh. that's what exactly i felt.

ok. may be you will know.knowing that you have been through many things together. he , as your boyfriend,had been with you when you needed someone the most. so perhaps you will be a nice person, close your eyes and forgive him. after all, you two are boyfriend and girlfriend. love makes wonder.

but later on, you met with some let says "financial" difficulties. you heard from people that your boyfriend is willing you to offer you some help. hence, you asked. and out of goodwill, despite being poor, you decided to really thanks him by cooking his favorite dish for him. he declined and told you to ask the banks for loan as he is real broke.

at the later time, u realized, no he wasn't broke at all! he actually invited his pool of friends over to have a (last minute) awesome party. with expensive food and liquor ,with awesome lightnings , music and DJs.

you felt cheated! WHY?

you don't felt important as him. though you two are officially girlfriend and boyfriend.
he claimed that he didn't have the money , yet , he still was able to prepare a last min party which cost quite a lot .

feel like ditching him? oh. wait, the story doesn't end here.

you know cos u said u need money. so u were preparing to go the bank and take a loan all by yourself. but he insists of doing so. but yet he complained that he had nothing to mortgage out.

so you said. never mind. my dad just bought a new house ( cos of the house, that's why you poor) so you mortgage your own home. he refuses to, despite complaining how poor his is.

you see the contradiction and irony?

later u realized. he just wanted to show everyone that he is an awesome boyfriend. doing all the job when the girl is in trouble.

therefore, in conclusion , you realized that your boyfriend is A true leader, he only knows how to lead and not act especially when the circumstance calls for it. he is an undesirable teammate who prefers to be ballast rather than thruster. (Quite significant ballast too) He would rather scrape limpets off seaside rocks than do any down-and-dirty work for the general good, but he is first on the podium when it comes to claiming credit. A hardworking man where his personal portfolio and end-of-year testimonial is concerned, he is very ineffective as a leader and mainly echoes the view of others, lacking initiative to do it himself.

please enlighten me if you should ditch him. though u know that you love him a lot. but u too understand that "short term pain" is better than " long-term pain".

PS:if you think that i am referring you. go ahead. i didn't specify any names. hence, what you thought is YOUR ASSUMPTION.

2010-02-09T04:30:00.000-08:00

// The message to encrypt.

02.string Msg = "This world is round, not flat, don't believe them!";

03.string Password = "secret";

04.

05.string EncryptedString = EncryptString(Msg, Password);

06.string DecryptedString = DecryptString(EncryptedString, Password);

07.

08.Console.WriteLine("Message: {0}",Msg);

09.Console.WriteLine("Password: {0}",Password);

10.Console.WriteLine("Encrypted string: {0}",EncryptedString);

11.Console.WriteLine("Decrypted string: {0}",DecryptedString);

2010-02-07T07:26:00.001-08:00

writing one quick post before i wash up and back to work. once again i am real real real real real sorry that it's been a long time since i last updated a blog.

musical just ended.

would sincerely like to thanks all those who gave me physically (your presence in the musical) and moral support. greatly appreciated!!

will do a write up on musical soon.

PS: my ankle is really hurting. i am close to semi-handicap. i can feel the pain even while walking. UGH!

PS/S: I MISS MUSICAL. ugh. :(

2010-01-24T17:08:00.000-08:00

many apology for this late post. the awesome thing is that the internet connection at home is down. my modem suddenly have this thought of not working. (^*%*&^( WTH! using school's internet to blog now. ok. i am cheapo. laugh at me if you need to. my parents paid school fees ,ok!

the week had been crazily hectic. as usual musical rehearsals, scholars dance, projects, school, teaching , etc.

since there's nothing much to write from mon-thurs, i shall start with friday.

Friday

last rehearsal for the week. as i am not going for saturday's. got to teach. anw, friday rehearsal was "awesome". and yes, i fell during rehearsal. ok. laugh if you need to. laugh. go on. and yes! and i fell while the music was on and everyone else beside me were dancing. it was damn embrassing i tell you. everyone at the side of the wings were looking . and for that few seconds when i fell, i could feel everyone shock-ness. UGH!

Treasa told me that her juniors told her about my fall. and i fell artistically. *double -.-*

Saturday.

teaching as usual. and kids were the same.still as naughty as how they always are. nothing special happened.

did 3 hours of straight contemp (1.5 hours of mr ricky's Graham techniques and 1.5 hours of miss ong's contemp). and my inner tigh muscles were really aching when i was home. though it might be tiring, rather, i felt that i was a sense of achievement. a sense of achievement in which i engaged my tigh muscle. a sense of achievement in which i was able to strengthen my techniques. ^^

sunday

Nafa ballet was awesome. just hate the part in which fishball made us practice by ourselves. like giving us 10 mins to work on our double pirouettes (double turns) before we actually do the combination. i would prefer that we do the entire thing and then she tell me where i have went wrong. oh well.

the week ended with jazz scholar class. jazz was still alright. perhaps because it was our first class. and there were a lot of coordinations required.

ok. that's my week for u.

People who says that poly are full of slackers should think twice.

2010-01-17T18:58:00.000-08:00

the upcoming two months is gonna be real crazy for me. 5 projects submission this month, musical next month and major exams ( 60% of the module ) next month. and in additional with scholars classes - 3 times a week, nafa ballet and teaching. so it's like i have no real break till march. HOW NICE!

i remember how much i thought my poly friends were bull-shitting complaining to me that their projects are killing them (when i was in MI). and i've thought that poly was just a piece of cake as compared to A'levels. but i was proven wrong after i have enrolled in a poly.

Back in MI, that small little projects that the teacher gives is nothing as comparable to the projects we have in poly. the projects given in MI only aids in our promotion. and most of the time, it will be converted to class participation marks and (for your info) class participation marks is less than 20%. But in poly, the projects are rather heavy. it's like a PW in A'level minus-ing the GPP, EOM and GPF. ok. u must be. CHAY! only outline , reports and presentation. what's the big deal?

it's no big deal if you are doing the same thing for EVERY module. ok. i exaggerate. MOST module. let's say 5/7 modules. and their deadlines are like neighbors, just a few days apart.

yes, i admit, i USED to believe that poly students are far more slack as compared to students taking the A'levels. Whenever i ask friends in poly how's their life poly so far, they would often tell me things like " stress " , " so many projects " and so on. deep inside i was like how stress can you be? poly is so much "slack-er" as compared to any JC/CI . how can your workload be tough?! and even if it's tough, how tough can it be?! it's nothing but projects.

after experiencing one year of the A'level system and then enter a poly, i would say that i was proven wrongly. it seriously turned me crazy when i have so many deadline to meet and on top of that there's a need to study for all the upcoming tests.

A'level only focuses on the final national Exam. Nobody seriously care how well or how badly one used to do in their school test/exam. nobody seriously care about how much contributions or research you had done in those little projects your teacher used to give you. nobody.(unless you are applying for a scholarship or bursary)the only thing which people really bothers are the grades that you get on the very day when you receive your A'level result slip.

on the contrary, whatever a poly students does everyday does affect his or her graduation marks, their GPA. class participation might be less than 10% but it affects their GPA in some way and the other. sometimes 0.1 will determine if this student get the job or a place in the uni.

for once, i do agree that poly students are slacker. Only when it comes to their holidays. i meant the holidays after every semester. there's no need to revise whatever we have learnt previously. But back when i was in MI, i found myself mugging almost everyday. Even to the extent of bringing my notes to Hong kong dance trip.

so, if next time when you decided to criticize or give any comments like how slack poly students are, please think twice.

2010-01-17T17:31:00.000-08:00

As seen from one of the Facebook quiz :

You were born on 31st of December 1991.

:: Talented to entertain people.
:: Loving and generous.
:: With their natural attraction, they have no problems to befriend with anybody.
:: Have a lots of personality that make others hard to understand them.
:: Like a chameleon, they manage to suits themselves with environment.
:: Lucky, but they suffer cause they depend mostly in luck and mood.

Famous people that share your personalities : Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Gloria Steinem, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley.

2010-01-04T18:55:00.001-08:00

ok. awesome. i am 2 days to submission for my coding, and exactly 7 days away from musical. the entire week will be an awesome week. packed with MORE rehearsals and MORE deadline to meet.

the time right now is 638pm. waiting patiently for 2nd round through.

ugh. if only i could take time off from dance and complete my work.

schools been crazy all these while.

especially with law final test next week, coding and law essay deadline to meet.

it would be awfully awesome if i could stop the time and continue at a later time.

haiz.

2010-01-04T18:55:00.000-08:00

it's been quite sometime since i last written a proper blog entry.it kind of striked me when * commented that blogging is outdated . but i think else wise. to me, blogging is a place for one to pen down his/her thoughts. and when we gets old, we refer back to what we wrote what we wrote when we were young and will start laughing our (then) stupidity and childishness. and yes i find this cool. i still keep my primary school personal diary with me. and i realized how ignorant i was back then. i get easily pissed when my brother imitates me whenever i am dancing at home.

i know it's been four days since 2010! i know! but i can't help to write how awesome 2009 was.

the many new found friends whom never fails to be with me whenever i am down and gives me the supports that i need, the new little kids whom i teaches and never fails to give me a bitter-sweet afternoon with their ignorance and mischievous and so on.

without all of them i wouldn't had such an awesome 2009. thanks everyone who made 2009 an awesome year for me.

ps: i pledge that i would blog regularly. at least a decent LONG entry a week.

2009-12-27T21:38:00.001-08:00

i am excited for laterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

2009-11-30T09:51:00.000-08:00

it's 1.50 AM and i just finished doing my French homework. French is putting me to my craze! serious. with all the tenses and so on. UGH. glad that i have completed it. :D

A screen-shot of my French assignment

I seriously find the French department having a little too much emphasis on how nice the assignment should be. cos ALL the assignment which we need to submit are to be in colored. including the fill the blanks.

Therefore,for my French compo,instead of the ONE small picture that i am required to insert , i went to put 3 pictures instead. cos,when i sent my assignments for printing tomorrow, i will still need to pay the same amount of money regardless the amount of pictures i insert.

On a side note, i kind of regret taking French as my elective. i found myself sleeping on every French lesson. yes, i can rebut that ,"oh i had scholars ballet the day before" but so what? that doesn't give me any green light that i am allow to sleep in class.

And YES. to i kind of lost that interest i used to have for French. Many would then ask me, why choose French in the first place. If many of you ain't aware, Ballet originated in the sixteenth- and seventeenth century French court. It was then LATER further developed in England , Italy and Russia. Hence, all the ballet terms are in French and it also includes the word Ballet.

so, i thought that studying French would be a better choice as compared to the rest of the choices. As it would help me to have a better understanding in the ballet terms and would be beneficial to me either when i dance or teach.

oh ! well!

PS: i will upload the NAFA dance photos ASAP. sorry. it's going to take some time.

who really cares?

2009-11-12T09:52:00.000-08:00

i kind of like this words of advice a lot. :D

"when you are doing something, always do your best. Remember, it is only the final product that counts. nobody cares about your months of preparation . "

it is indeed true that no one really bothers much about the process of an accomplished work . rather , they would focus on the how the final outcome is like.

for instance, if one student is sitting for his/her national examination, no one is interested in his/her study method or study process . but rather, what they really wants to know is their final results. how many As are they able to obtain, what's their final raw score.

though we have heard teachers constantly telling us that the outcome is no that important. what's important is the process- the priceless lessons you learnt.

but to be frank, how many of you are really interested about other people's process? you would, if and only if that particular person succeed. if given two books - the biography of a successful businessman OR the biography of a failure, which one would you choose?

Most people would rather choose to read the biography of the successful businessman.

you can rebut saying that you would want to read the one on the failure as it is more inspiring , inspires you not to follow his/her footstep.

but, opportunity cost wouldn't allow you to.

sorry, it just don't make any sense.

2009-11-08T07:43:00.000-08:00

i can't help to say that we human being are seriously weird. we are often condracting ourselves! this simply makes no sense!

1)though we might constantly saying that we will be loyal to so and so (i am NOT referring to BGR matters) yet we find it hard to stay loyal as time goes on. it's time for us to move on.(will continue this topic on my livejournal blog . it's rather personal. hope that you understand)

2)Many asked me where i would like to go after poly and i told them about all my great dreams -entering into this dance school and that dance school to obtain a dance degree and a professional dancer at overseas dance company before heading back to Singapore. 80% of the responds i get was :O (JAWS DROPPED!)why do you need to get a dance degree? why can't you just dance ? and dance got anything to study meh?

However, they are unknowingly contradicting themselves. it's just like saying why get a business degree? why can't you just start your own business? and business got anything to study meh?

many people have the wrong perception that dancing is just purely moving of your limbs. but i would say that dancing is more than that. there's a huge difference between a dance student and a freelance dancer without any qualification.as a dace student, they will be learning things such as dance history (history), music , lightings, make-up, choreography , teaching (how to be a proper dance teacher and so on) and anatomy (science-biology )[to prevent from injury while dancing and knowing why are some steps created in this matter and so on]. Don't you find all these"subjects" familiar? didn't we like did it when we are in secondary school?

So before you start saying anything , think twice before saying it if not you would find that you were actually contradicting yourselves and saying things which doesn't make any sense.

2009-11-05T20:38:00.001-08:00

Warning!
the pictures below are rather gross!

Many people are fascinated on how ballerinas go up on their toes and do that multiple turns where other normal human being are unable to do it (and i somehow belong to this category too).

i started dancing at a really young age, at the age of three?back then, i HATE going for classes. i was like WHY do i need to go for all these classes while my brothers and stay at home and play. BUT what really made me love dancing was once when i saw the ballerinas on TV doing multiple turns on their toes. and of course that 90 degree arasebque on pointe. However, many people fail to realize the pain behind all these beautiful dance moves.

last sunday when i took our pointe shoe, i saw this . . .

had already blister on my foot before class, then i went to put plaster on it. and sunday's pointe further worsen my blister and therefore it bleed.

and when i took out my ballet tights, this is what you see.

I LOVE CHEW YI-SHIH

2009-11-02T01:31:00.002-08:00

Hi everybody, nat here. yishih is just beside me now and i wanna express how much i love her !!! wooo~~~ i love yishih. and angela is very noisy and irritating! BYE People, hohohoh, merry xmas in advance!!! :D

\

pardon the post above. it was written by chew yi-shih who tried to impose as me witting that entry. D:

I LOVE CHEW YI-SHIH

2009-11-02T01:31:00.001-08:00

That is why they say that the truth always hurt.

2009-10-29T09:36:00.001-07:00

That is why they say that the truth always hurt.

2009-10-27T08:14:00.000-07:00

yesterday was crazy!

had a hell lot of fun time. :D

went to causeway point with the girls to get a couple of things and headed back to bishan for ballet.

trained back was really really awesome.

reason being, I SAW MILORD ON THE TRAIN WITH HIS UNIFORM!

:D :D

2009-10-23T07:19:00.000-07:00

we all hate hypocrites.

but we just hate to admit that most of us are one.

2009-10-20T07:23:00.000-07:00

Je vais dormir maintenant.bonne nuit :D

2009-10-18T10:36:00.000-07:00

i can't believe that i am actually returning to campus in less than 12 hours time. the thought of having to sit through the boring tutorial and lecture again makes me ZZZ.

but this term is different. i WILL ok. i will TRY to juggle both my dance and studies well. last term GPA score serve as a good wake up call to me. i should seriously stop sleeping in class and giving the super lame excuse that i had dance the previous day and hence i was that tired. there are many people out there who are able to juggle their academic and dance well, so why can't i?

ok, enough of all the talking . time to sleep.

nights people. :D

2009-10-16T08:51:00.000-07:00

i am back people!

i really enjoyed myself. from swenson to massage to bowling, murder in the night (it's actually normal catching. sound lame? no it is not! it's like one of the best game i had every play! we twisted the game. we played it in the dark. with no yes with NO light at all. total darkness. :D and we camouflaged ourself. like, shi min pretended to be the lamp post, hui fang hide herself about the bags with one bag on her head and so on) ,lunch at the jap food court,dinner at the balcony ,KTV,pub,playing second round of murder in the night when i was semi-drunk , slept a little and woke up in the middle of the night just to clear all the food and played card games . . .

the whole week was really awesome. thank girls.

happy belated birthday angela! thanks for the invite :D

PS: will write about it soon.

PS/S:with photos too.

2009-10-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

i can't help to remember what the physio told me a couple of weeks ago when i when for some body check up to see all my injury and how i should improve my body movement and prevent my (future) injuries.

i am flat-footed. yes. i am flat-footed.

this very much explains why i can't really balance when i am standing on one leg while dancing or doing a pose, cos i would naturally roll in my foot and this led to me having very little surface area to put my weight on and at the same time, it made me suffer a lot in pointe. cos, when you are flat footed, your arch would not be strong. and hence, whenever i pointe, my toe's arch is deeper than my foot, so when i stand on pointe, it looks real lousy like i over pointe my toes. UGH!

it is really bad for a dancer to be flat footed. and this is a little signal telling me that i doesn't have the correct type of body for a dancer. BUT this doesn't very much stop me from dancing or does it means that i am going to give up dancing. it just shows that i need to work extra hard as compared to my peers. just like if a person wasn't born that smart to study or he/she is slow in learning, does it means that he/she just give up studying? hell no. it only shows that that particular person needs more time than the rest.

and yes, i will NOT give up dancing despite the challenges are facing day to day.

2009-10-09T00:03:00.000-07:00

MAS scholars dance performance - HER WORLD

Was performing at this event with the rest of the dance scholars last Sunday.
it was really a great experience, using of the platform, going up and down and having close contact with the audience and to add on, I danced in a store (in other words a shopping mall)how many such opportunity would you be able to get?

preparation for this performance isn't easy at all. serious.

Life used to be really crazy a few months back. having to juggle everything. i was like dancing 8-9 times a week and on average each session is 3-4 hours. this doesn't include teaching and rehearsals .there were a few sessions where i was awake about 36 hours straight and was still dancing(both mentally and physically exhausted).

I remembered one occasion where i made the instructor really pissed off that he was there lecturing for a few hours and he left the rehearsal. YES! he left the rehearsal. so, for the next few rehearsal we were practicing by ourself. i was kind of glad that my team members were rather patient with me. They didn't blame me for it, rather, they encouraged me. this contemporary dance wasn't easy with me. i was one of the very few in the ensemble to be trained in classical ballet. hence, my lines were rather "balletic" and with all hyper extended arms and so on, it took me ages to be the same as the rest of the dancers. Glad that all these came to an end.

getting into the mood of the dance.

SHI WEN!!!

i looked motherly , i know.

glad that they make it on time these time :D

Poly girlfriends

this girl ignored all of us before my dance started and till it ends she still ignored us. she even went crying for her mummy. glad that she went back to herself before i left for scholar's jazz class. :D

2009-10-08T05:24:00.000-07:00

something to keep you accompany as i write up and edit about Sunday's performance. The images that you are going to see below are the publication of the first issue of MAD Newsletter proudly brought to you by the Moving Arts Scholar dancers! it's full of colors and over-flowing of information about Dance!

ENJOY!

*advise to click to see larger image.

Love,

Natalie lin kaiyuan

2009-10-06T21:34:00.001-07:00

zi is currently over at my place now.

having conference with sec school friends, many memories refreshed, just like how we were back then.

i have one interesting conversation which i kind of like to share. . .

(TO BE CONTINUED). . .

*u better drive me to school everyday. . :D

2009-10-03T07:39:00.000-07:00

i understand how sucky it is whenever you visit a blog and it's not updated. yes. i do have a lot of things to write on BUT i was just too lazy to do so.

just some quick updates. i am really excited for tomorrow! it's going to be a whole day of craziness. and if you managed to read this just in time.

morning at 10am my dance would be telecast on TV! :D

yes. i am excited to see the outcome. and of course, i compared the filming day performance with the last rehearsal before filming and realized that they improved a lot.

a few weeks after looking at the video the production people took for our last rehearsal,i realized how scary i was. my kids actually danced with fear and i was at the background scolding them.i too remembered the time when they rehearsed outside the studio cos the studio had limited space and we had to "fight" with another filming team.

there were many people outside looking and they were like " wa... so CUTE! look at the kids." but after hearing my scoldings to the kids and my "WHAT IS THIS?! AGAIN!" they were really really really shocked. i looked like some big bully bullying them.

Filming day

they had changed and were resting while the host were putting on their make up.

starting formation

enjoying them self

haha. look at the orange girl! third from the left. she seems to be some die-hard fans of silver ang and felt really lucky to hold her hand.

i seriously like this A LOT! they were supposed to run on the spot. this was on the advertisement! :d

the host doing their lypsycing. reason being, my one them accidentally banged into the other on accidental and the girl who got banged on the head cried (Y). when i asked what happened, she said " cos M(the girl who banged her) banged onto my hair and now messy". HAHA! i was deep inside laughing. M and Y are good friends. M's mum asked M to apologies to Y, and M refuses to and M cried. i got a little irritated. cos i was hoping that the filming could be done ASAP. as it was a saturday and i had to rush all the way back to hougang to teach. i doesn't want to be late for teaching. Thank god, the filming crews had got sweet . so it was alright after that. thank god.

director requested a change of direction.

two by two shot.

two by two shot

group photo after filming :D

2009-09-28T02:01:00.000-07:00

shall blog when i come back home from ballet later. :D

2009-09-25T12:55:00.001-07:00

something which i spent the night watching.

really enjoyed reading the thousands of comments left by the youtube users. please don't ask for my comments regarding this. i have got no comments. i inheritance this from *milord .

on a side note, my e-mail is flooded with facebook's e-mail. i have got like 50+ e-mail telling me that someone made certain comments . LMAO. had a great time deleting them too. ha.

time to sleep.
nights earthlings. :D

2009-09-23T10:47:00.000-07:00

results was out in less than 12 hours ago. i can't believe that i am actually blogging a reflection on my blog on my first entry of my new blog.

well, i think my current grades and GPA serves as a good wake up call to me. a wake up call that i should stop being complacent. just because i was doing well for the first 8 weeks that doesn't very much means that i will able to do well for the entire module. and i should stop thinking that i have a week of study break to catch up 5 modules of doubts and score well for the exam.

most importantly , i should really priorities. yes, dance might be what i will be doing for the next 40 years of my life, but i still have to clear my poly with a relative good results. i do know more than anyone else that i came to poly to please my parents so that they could give me the green light to further my dance education.

looks like my plans of going to summer school next year is all ruined by my grades. i doesn't want to scarifies my grades for 3 weeks dance intensive, though the ones that i saw in the net are rather interesting. well.

dance vs academic. i looks like i have to choose academic for now.